“Legalism is a two-headed, fire breathing monster.” (source)

Exactly, legalism is a figment of your imagination.  The only true legalism is the legalism of the anti-legalists who make a law that its illegal to obey God.  They makes laws against goodness and such-like concerning which Paul said “Against such there is no law.”  Sorry, Paul, buddy, but the Calvinists made laws against those things, and in your name to boot!

Galatians 5:22-23 KJV

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23 meekness, temperance: Against such there is no law.

Whereas legalism is a two-headed, fire breathing monster, and whereas justification is by faith alone, We, the Senate of the Calvinists, do solemnly declare, decree, and dictate, that the fruits of the Spirit shall be considered unlawful, illegal, and sinful, lest any man dare do a good work, even in sanctification.