BOSS PAUL THE PHARISEE
[sing it to the tune of “Rapture” by Blondie]
I’m Boss Paul, the Pharisee
My hypocrisy’s plain for the world to see
I travel the land and travel the sea
to make a convert who is just like ME
“All have sinned” – we know that’s true
but it never means ME – it only means YOU
My sins are all theoretical
“I’m the worst of sinners”- but don’t ask where
To be more like Jesus is what some strive
except for me – I’ve already arrived
I’m the perfect model since the road to Damascus
What were Paul’s sins? Don’t ask us!
I justify everything I do
If I testify about myself it MUST be true
I’m the only man in all history
whose testimony doesn’t need two or three
If I did something it MUST be right
Don’t use the Scripture to shed any light
Don’t do as I say, do as I do
and then you can be a Pharisee too.
What do you think?
Then at the end of a second comment he says:
The people who will protest most loudly against this truth are the modern “Pauls:” traveling evangelists, speakers, writers, abusive absentee mega-church pastors, Crusaders, and self-appointed “apostles” like Paul, who find it “profitable” to “be like Paul” rather than follow Jesus the Jewish Messiah.
I do think it is largely true that the abusiveness and vitriol in Christianity from one group against another is the result of people wanting to beat each other over the head the way Paul beats his readers in the epistles, wishing those who disagree with him would castrate themselves, calling them dogs and so on. Paul knows it all, and if anyone disagrees with him, he says “Let them be accursed.” He didn’t bother to even talk to any of the apostles before he went out preaching, as he proudly brags in Galatians, but if it turns out any of the real apostles disagree with him or preach something different than his made up gospel that he made up out of thin air since he never met Jesus and didn’t bother to speak to the real apostles, well then, as far as Paul is concerned, “Let them be accursed.” The real apostles are nobodies to him, and whatever they might be, what difference does it make, God shows no partiality, he says, but he always reserves a little partiality for Paul don’t you know. Oh yeah, God’s not a respecter of persons, Paul tells us in Galatians when he’s bashing Peter, James, and John, but God is always a respecter of persons when it comes to respecting Paul and his ludicrous doctrines just because they came out of the mouth of the uber-apostle Paul for whom the world was made and for whom alone Jesus was born, the only person who has ever had any worth—ever—and who alone gets to boast. For justification must be by faith (alone) “lest any man should boast,” that is, any man other than Paul, for Paul boasts constantly and even says “I will not let any man rob me of this boasting.” Yes indeedy,
“I’m Boss Paul, the Pharisee
My hypocrisy’s plain for the world to see…
‘All have sinned’ – we know that’s true
but it never means ME – it only means YOU“